As a kid, we just want to do what the adults are doing. In our twenties, we finally get to do it all, it’s exciting; we try things, get jobs, houses, marry and have children. Then in our thirties we settle down into a routine – whether it’s in a job, or at home taking care of kids, alone or with a partner or family. Then when we reach our forties, we start to wonder what it’s all for? How long must this routine continue? Is this how we’re destined to live our lives until we retire in another twenty or thirty year’s time?
The mid-life crisis
This is the time when we realise our youth is past, we’ve made our choices and we’re now living the life we have chosen. But is it what we really want anymore? Is this the life you imagined having all those years ago when you were a kid looking longingly at an adult life?
Perhaps it’s not all a bed of roses – not the fairytale we imagined. We get restless, want change. This is the time for reinvention.
What changes for women?
Some women reinvent themselves through necessity – perhaps they go through a divorce or separation and suddenly find themselves alone. The lives they had taken for granted for so long has gone, and they have no choice but to start over – and reinvent who they are as individuals rather than half of a couple.
Some women reinvent themselves out of choice. Perhaps the daily routine has become so boring, they feel an unbearable need to break free and get out, to change.
Many mothers reach a stage when their kids grow up and become more independent, when they realise they’ve put their own lives, needs and desires on hold for the past years while they’ve taken care of their children. Once the children no longer need that care and attention, mothers realise they’ve lost part of their own identity. They find they have to reinvent themselves again.
Growing confidence in ourselves with age
In our twenties – we all get to invent our lives – we choose where we want to live, who we want to be with and what we want to do. But all too often we settle for less than we want, or feel our true desires are just unattainable pipedreams.
However – as we get older, we have often gained the experience and maturity to understand that we can follow our dreams. There are countless examples all around us of those who have done just that and have succeeded.
What makes a successful reinvention?
Reinvention means not just making small changes to your life, but an entire shift either internally, externally or both. Perhaps it could be a move to another country – or a total change of career. Whatever that shift is to be, a woman taking the step to reinvent herself should plan and research carefully how to achieve this change.
The secret to reinvention is the desire for change and the belief that change is possible.
For a mature woman deciding to reinvent herself, she must have
- Knowledge: A clear focus about where she is going.
- Desire: A strong desire or need to change.
- Belief: A belief that total change is possible.
- Confidence: A strong support network of friends or family.
- Passion: A passion and commitment to herself.
How about you?
Are you where you want to be at this point in your life? Do you think you could or would want to reinvent yourself?
By Jill Shepherd