As an older woman there’s not much more humiliating and heart-breaking than to have the person that you thought was your forever partner leave you for someone much younger. No matter how devastated you feel, it is possible to move forward with your dignity and your sanity intact. Here are some tips you may find helpful.
Give yourself some space
When someone leaves you, the feelings you get are much like those you’d experience if you have been bereaved; add jealousy and dark thoughts of revenge to the mix and you have a pretty potent cocktail for grief. But the only way you’re going to move on is by banishing all such thoughts of your ex from your mind. Allow yourself all the time and space you need to grieve; you will get over this.
Chat with a counsellor
Talking to a counsellor about your breakup might at first seem rather daunting, but the opportunity to vent how you feel to an unbiased ear can really help you to come to terms with the change that’s taken place in your life. Unloading your emotional baggage in this way can be truly liberating, so don’t be afraid to give it a try.
Adversity into opportunity
Despite your pain, you can turn this adverse situation into a brand new start. Now you have the opportunity to be whoever you want to be and to live your life just the way you want to live it; there’s no-one there to tell you that you can’t!
Get yourself into great shape
Physical activity is a great way of making you feel better about yourself as well as getting your body into the best shape you’ve been in for years. Instead of sitting at home feeling miserable, get out to some classes at the gym or dance studio, join a running or Zumba club, or maybe take up tennis again. Not only will you feel and look fabulous, you’ll make new friends too.
Get a makeover
Women who have been with the same partner for a long time often feel as though they have been stuck in a rut. Think about it; when was the last time you treated yourself to a new hairdo, a total revamp of your wardrobe, and a totally new makeup palette? Well, now’s your chance to experiment!
If you’ve always been a brunette with a short bob, try going blonde and wearing curly extensions. Perhaps consign your habitual comfy jogging pants to the back of the closet and buy yourself some trendy new leisurewear, and why not swap drab brown and nude shades of eye colour for sexy, smoky greys?
Catch up with the girls
When you’re getting over a painful divorce, catching up with your girlfriends is a great tonic, so make movie night, a girly night-in at home, or dinner at your favorite restaurant a regular date to look forward to. As well as a sympathetic ear, you’ll probably enjoy a good laugh and bathe in the tide of compliments on the ‘new you’ that are bound to come your way!
Rekindle your sexy side
When you’re emerging from the trauma of a divorce, it can be hard to feel sexy and desirable. Although it sounds silly, it really can help your self-perception to invest in some pretty, new lingerie. If you usually wear plain, white cotton panties and a ‘T’ shirt bra, try a midnight blue lace thong instead, perhaps teamed with a plunging, push-up bra. You’ll be amazed just how different you feel! And if you feel sexy, you’ll project that aura of desirability and confidence to others too.
Date a younger man
Your ego may be somewhat dented after your breakup, especially if you’ve been dumped for a younger model. However, younger guys just love dating older women – fact! After all, not only are you now in fantastic shape and sexy as Hell, you also have all those years of experience to add to the mix. Whilst it’s unlikely that you’ll be emotionally in the right place to embark on a serious, committed relationship just yet, there’s no reason why you can’t have some light-hearted, casual fun, so get yourself on a reputable dating site and kick your social life into gear.
Whilst there’s no denying that a bad divorce can be devastating, given time you will recover and bring your confident, sexy side back. You have a whole new life to live and enjoy, so get out there and live it!