No woman goes into a marriage expecting failure – most of us are actually hopeless romantics that wholeheartedly expect the “happily ever after” love affair that was promised in our vows. However, that isn’t always the case, in fact, close to forty percent of marriages end in divorce. As depressing as these statistics are, it doesn’t mean that you should give up on the probability of a long and happy marriage. It is possible to come out of a divorce, find a new guy that was truly meant for you and get that happily ever after the second time around. Below are a few great tips to help you out.
Creating a Successful Marriage the Second Time Around:
Seek premarital counsel: To avoid making the same mistakes twice, it might be beneficial to seek premarital counsel. Talking out your fears and concerns can help make the new relationship stronger. Additionally, counseling might be helpful if there are stepchildren involved.
Truly start over: Your second marriage will certainly fail if you bring in the baggage from the first one. You must be committed to letting go of the past. This means that you need to recognize that your new husband is an entirely different man than your ex – do not openly compare him to your first husband and do not move your new spouse into the home that you once shared with your ex, regardless of how “okay” your new beau claims it is – you need to treat this new marriage like the new beginning it is and truly start over.
Be open and honest: Many marriages fail because of built-up resentment due to dishonesty – to avoid this, you must always be honest with your spouse and demand honesty and openness from your new husband. You must talk to each other, get issues out in the open and deal with them right away.
Never stop dating each other: Another reason that marriages fail is due to the “stuck in a rut, living like roommates” disease that can develop. This unfortunate disease develops when the demands of life subconsciously change the value and perception of your spouse. All of a sudden, work, school, chores and kids becomes more important than connecting with each other and that part of the relationship gets pushed to the back. However, regardless of the demands life throws at you, it is important to never stop dating each other – keep the spark burning and find little ways to constantly remind each other how much you love and lust each other.
Be unafraid: If you go into this marriage insecure and afraid that it might fail like your first one, then chances are it will fail. You have to jump into this commitment feeling confident and full of faith and that surety will translate to your happy ending.
Have common interests: Just as it is important that you and your spouse have your own identity outside of each other, it is equally important that you two have common interests to strengthen your bond. Therefore, you should find things that you have in common and do more of that, for example, you can take dancing classes, go hiking and running together or even open a business together.
It no longer matters that your first marriage was a total failure; it only failed because it wasn’t meant to succeed. You must get over your past and open yourself up to the possibility of love and a happy remarriage. Are you in your second marriage? What are you doing differently to make this relationship work?
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